I was browsing through my hard drive and found this text file from a year ago. The file is named Why.txt created on July 6, 2004.

why am i feeling like this? why am i miserable trying to love you. why does it hurt investing all my feelings when i know it should set me free? why do i feel trapped sometimes loving you? i dun know how to express myself to you anymore. how else to handle my mixed emotions and feelings. im not even sure if there’s any other way to show you how much i love you… so much, it’s causing me pain. when i noticed i needed a change in myself, i pictured a bright colorful new person… someone u would love dearly and easily. a “brand new me” i’d expect u to fall in love with all over again. a changed person u wanted me to be. a new drew that’ll never take u for granted. but now, the future i saw from the past, from the old me, have slowly slipped and sailed away from my how i dreamt it would be. a nightmare hunting my deepest thoughts when im alone, or even when ur with me. it’s so dreadful to imagine how i was to you before… but it seems like no matter how hard i try, this new person inside me is the same old person i was u hated. i swear i had good intentions hun, but i never ever expected us to be this way. im sorry for the pain i’ve caused you… but all i know deep in my heart is that i tried to love you. g’nite. love u always!

What a biggity-bitch! That was me a year ago. Pathetic huh?! Weepin’ like a helpless crybaby. Readin’ that again made me come to a realization of how much I’ve transformed from what I’ve experienced within a year.